Saturday, May 26, 2018

"Flyin' the friendly skies...er, not always!

Oh, sure, once you get to your destination, things are cool.

Sometimes the flight there can get "interesting."

The Nelson-Atkins Art Museum in Kansas City had oversize "art" scattered around its grounds.

And this was taken from a car window when close by parking was non-existent.

I waited for the gent in red to wander into the frame to give some sense of scale.

Imagine just how big the racquet would be!

The "Thinker" was also shot from a double-parked car

My small pocket-sized digital camera with a 25mm to 500mm zoom lens makes this easy to do.

In fact, my cousins and I did not even go into the Nelson Museum that day.

Years ago I took a visiting Missouri farmer inside and he was amazed!

"WOW," he enthused, "you could pack a lotta hay in here!"

But this tale is about the flight getting to KC from San Diego on Southwest Airlines.

Let's set the picture: when I boarded I was seated in the third row between two rather "large" sisters who were returning from a professional bowling tournament. The one on the aisle laughed and said her sister preferred the window seat.

I faced a nearly four-hour flight with my arms crossed in front of my chest as the ladies each had laid claim to the armrests. Sigh.

The flight attendant placed my requested cup of coffee on the tray I was able to pull down.
Then somebody "bumped" the tray and the full cup of hot coffee - with cream and sugar - poured into my lap!

That lady that had famously sued McDonald's had it right - coffee-in-your-lap is VERY hot. And it goes everywhere as it quickly soaks down to your skin.

No, I did NOT pause to take any pictures.

I was in pain and VERY embarrassed. The attendant was there, as small napkins were being passed to me. A few tiny little paper napkins. The calm airline employee encouraged me to undo my seatbelt, squeeze myself out to the aisle and follow her forward to the lavatory.

Painfully aware of my soggy status, I stood at the open door and she handed me a can of soda water and several large Kotex. "Sorry, we don't have any sponges, but go inside, apply the soda to the female napkin and you should be able to remove most of the coffee stain from your khaki trousers."

She obviously had done this before even if it was new to me.

As I sponged the soda, I could see improvement in my splattered stained crotch. More soda, more applications and I started to feel this might NOT be the end of the world.

As I exited the lav - and the entire plane now could see I obviously had had an accident - I smiled when I saw the aisle seat now was empty as the aisle-sister had moved over to be next to her sister.

YAY! It was almost worth the embarrassment to now sit and relax in blissful expanded comfort.

I thanked the flight attendant and asked for a bloody Mary.

She set it down, smiled as she told me to be careful and said: "It's on us, try to relax."

(Click on the photos and links for more details.)

Thanks for sharing an airborne embarrassing moment.

Hope it never happens to you!

As a careful coffee drinker, I tend to wear khaki pants now.

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Monday, October 01, 2007

The Farmer LEAVES The Dell...

OK, so this story involves a "swap" I made with a farm family in Missouri in the 1970s.

So far, we have seen the "city-slicker" side of the story and now it's time to have Mr. & Mrs. Joe Farmer come to the teeming metropolis of Kansas City!

You probably know that Kansas City has side-by-side twin stadiums for the Royals baseball and Chiefs football clubs. But, did you know there also is opera and fine dining on the Country Club Plaza and that the city has "more fountains than Rome and more boulevards than Paris?"

(Hey..I was the Director of Tourism for the KC Convention & Visitors Bureau so slogans come back easily to me.)

Since my family was going to host and house this couple from the hinterlands for a fun-filled urban weekend, I wanted to repay the kindness they had shown when we huddled beneath their under-construction-house and froze our butts off stomping around their farm dodging cows and pigs.

But, I decided NOT to expose these simple folk to Opera In English and took them to a hockey game. Farmer Joe almost decked the guy sitting behind us who was VERY drunk and using VERY salty language to encourage the players to do better. Joe was more than ready to defend his wife's honor.

The next day I decided to inject some Big City culture and we drove off to the ritzy
Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art.

I wanted them to see Regionalist artist Thomas Hart Benton's 1939 PERSEPHONE. Besides, I knew that admission is free every day to view the 33,500 collected objects. Something for everyone.

Well. Joe was impressed. We walked into the massive gallery and he stopped dead in his tracks. He looked up to the lofty ceiling. To the left. To the right. He sighed.

"Man, you could pack a load of hay into THIS place."

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